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2 years post Sepsis


Not so nice anniversary..

Today, two years ago I was taken by ambulance to hospital, not realising what's coming.. If you read up you'll not only learn few details but maybe also understand why I'm doing all this 'stupid' stuff.#trainfortherealchallenge

Those medals in a picture translate into everyday life. Those are beyond just fitness achievements. This is blood, sweat, sacrifice that teaches you discipline, that helps cope with issues , makes you believe in yourself, helps overcome obstacles. What I went through exactly 2 years ago is indescribable unless you went through similar near death experience. I was close, damn, I HAVE LOST everything for a minute. But... Yes, but.. I'm a fighter. Always was. Funny thing though, in my head I often am the little, anxious pussy 😂 I used to be back in school. This shit your brain don't forget and don't reset or update. Not 💯 anyway. So yes, I still struggle I still think I'm weak sometimes. But( yes, but again) I'm stronger that I was and the weakness doesn't appear as often. I'm a fighter who went through all that messed up life - addictions, drugs, alcohol, law troubles . I'm a fighter who eventually switched, and by achieving all fitness related goals, fought with death and kicked her arse!Not so nice anniversary but nice reminder how fragile life can be. The saying 'You might be hit by the bus tomorrow' isn't quite adequate as the "bus" can hit you now. It hit me hard and unexpected but I've somehow bounced back. Damaged, but still made it and although still didn't make peace with new reality, I realise it could have gone all bloody wrong.Just to give you an idea , according to WHO An estimated 27% of people with sepsis in hospitals and 42% of people in intensive care units will die. The remaining ones often end up with limb amputations. Even sepsis survivors are not out of danger: only half will completely recover, the rest will either die within 1 year or be burdened by long-term disabilities - like myself .  I might seem all good outside however it ain't all rainbows n'that. The heart condition I ended up with is a real pain in the arse. There's no known reasons for episodes of atrial fibrillation ( AFIB) and Supraventricular tachycardia (SVT) that happening to me - I can run a marathon without it then I climb up stairs and here we go. I can do a triathlon but then I try a parkrun and here we go - heart palpitations and pulse goes up to 225bpm. The feeling is shit, fainting, dizziness, breathless. Then heart DOMS day after, weakness for days. A lot of serious deathly risks coming with it too not to mention anxiety and low moods which puts me off for days. You don't wanna be in my head then . Sepsis is a bigger killer than bowel, breast and pancreatic cancer combined, according to a new study as well.

The struggle is real, still. Both physically & mentally but we only lose if we give up. I'm not planning on giving up just yet. I'm planning to keep going, exploring, learning and living MY LIFE MY WAY AS IT'S MINE!The strength and positive mindset was always with me before sepsis and I was using it to make everyone feel better, to do my personal trainer job better, to care for my kids better, to love better. After sepsis I lost that ability for a second but as time goes by I'm getting it all back. Plus totally new powers learned from horrible experience. To wrap up I'd like to once again thank all you who was with me in spirit whilst I was fighting and then during recovery, all of you who helped me mentally and understood, all those who was there not only for me but for my family as they were going through horrible time too. All messages, cards.. They all saved and secured. I also wanna thank those who didn't give a fuck, didn't get it, those who where interested for wrong reasons. I take energy from Yin And Yang so EVERYONE is appreciated.

I wish you all well and I'm not sorry for upcoming posts 😏😉




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