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Ironman. Post race motivation.

I AM IRONMAN 2022 Event #10 Full distance IRONMANSwim 3800m Bike 180km Run 42km TOTAL time including transitions Yesterday marks a year since I'm out of 6 weeks atrial fibrillation episode . Yes, 42 days of constant irregular heart beat, a month and a half of arythmia. I did have few episodes ever since but they only lasted minutes not days, weeks or months and although still scary, nothing compare to that long one .So nice anniversary.Just over a year since my fight against severe sepsis started and pretty much a year since beginning of recovery from sepsis & heart failure.A lot is possible.I dedicate this to all struggling out there, all fighting their demons, all feeling like giving in.I dedicate it to ALL that somehow crossed my LIFE making me who I am , those supportive and those not , those respeting and those who not quite.I'm a proof you can dig out of any fucking hole life throws your way. I'm a former drug & alcohol addict, I had problems with law, I used to live that bloody road man life doing all kind of stupid stuff for a decade if not longer. I reached a bottom years ago but I bounced back - IT IS POSSIBLE - and I lost my life last year but I got it back - IT IS POSSIBLE. I did so because I wanted and I kept trying. I Kept Failing but kept trying. And I will keep trying to be the best version of myself for myself and my close ones . And I make mistakes, a lot, but I'm learning and I'm trying. You don't have to like me but I do believe I deserve a bit of respect. I am uncommon. And damn, I'm not telling you go and do ironman triathlon or some other shit. I'm telling you to never give in, don't be afraid of failing and trying. Look, I was taking amphetamine for ten years daily, other drugs sometimes 2-3 times a week and I tried to stop it several times, many times, always telling myself this is my last line, my last bong, my last glass, I stop tomorrow etc. People wrote me off several times and I don't blame them but fuck people! See, I kept trying and I made it, that was my one-of-many ironmans back then. There was a lot of them before with the latest being sepsis & heart failure. I was so close to giving up, you have no fucking idea. Life didn't make no sense anymore. Nothing made sense. I couldn't move, then walk, train. Physically dead with depression, PTSD, anxiety It's still hard and I still have days, the bad motherfuckers, when it feels like there's nothing left here for me, in this world . But even though it was tough & rough I kept trying. They wrote me off but  here I am, not so healthy but alive. For my kids, wife, family, people I know. Trying again and see collateral beauty. That was another one-of-many ironmans. My personal life turned upside down last year too, I almost lost my family, I literally did but was working hard in background, you've no idea, coz I wanted to fix it all. And I did. Another ironman. Fucking 2021 didn't end there, in November on top of all struggles I went through rotator cuff open cut surgery. 6 weeks in sling a months of recovery and physio but again, I kept trying against all odds and even though still not fully Recovered its good enough to live life. Another, maybe smaller but ironman.. This event was my nemesis. I tried in 2019 but snapped pattela 150km in on bike and was pulled out at 170km. I signed up to 2020 very next day after failing. In 2020 lockdown came so postponed to 2021. Then sepsis so postponed to 2022. It was a hard journey but, although time consuming, enjoyable. Training was going well then picked up chest infection just over 2 weeks before event, was on antibiotics but still decided to try. Don't be afraid of failure please!If you don't like something just change it but remember, change doesn't happen over night. You'll be doing a lot of things you don't like or you don't want to. That's what I did very often.  I wanted to reach out and touch my goals so yes, I have sacrificed things, I have changed things without complaining as there's always a price to pay and if things would come easy we wouldn't appreciate it. If you don't like things but don't wish to change, put a lot of time & effort in and step outside your comfort zone forget about achieving anything. Just forget. Now, I hate doing this as I always miss someone ( especially that this is rushed, emotional post) so please forgive me , like I said, I don't need noone in my life but if you there willing to be part of my life, help me I respect it and appreciate it a lot. I always give back what I was given because I want to and when you in quick sand I'll give you a hand and always treat you as you'd treat me. There was 100s people who, often without realising, became  part of this success, all those who came visit after sepsis, texted, rang, help - without this, it all would take much longer. Those closer to the event itself - thanks to Tracey for looking after me when I was ill and a bag of fruits for my anniversary, Neil for nutrition, Vic, Lyn, Tracy, Sally, Matt for checking on me last few weeks, Andy for all great messages over last year or so & Rich for being my mate. Thanks to my family, wife, kids for coping with me this past few months. Thank you Jay for last year's training and advice ever since. I have coached myself this year, planned it all around my health condition but there's a few people who had a massive impact, Jay is one of them. Then Andy and his Guinness world record attemtp - what a motivation. Grace and her yoga skills that helped a lot with mind and body between long training sessions, my  OSC fitness gangstas - trust me, seeing you smashing them sessions is really motivating! Always. Thanks guys at Sportstest helping with swimming.. Matt at run & Ride / Stafford Runner for taking time and advising with bike. Thank you all, like everyone! Keep it up my dears! IT'S UP TO YOU IF YOU SUCCEED OR NOT. UP TO YOU.

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