The Internal Redline: 24 Hours Inside the Fitness Gangsta HQ - the 17h race

Marlena said the other day, she'd like to see my whole day through a pair of Meta glasses. To be honest, I’m not sure the hardware could handle the frame rate of my brain. I decided to stick to the journal for today, and looking back at the pages, I realized why I’m so wired when the sun goes down. My mind doesn't just run; it sprints. Even in my sleep, I’m dreaming of work challenges, race strategies, escapes, pleasure, holidays, family, my fitness Gangsta team and the grind.

​I don’t wake up to an alarm. I wake up before, to the "To-Do" list.

​The Launch Sequence

​I’m "up" before I’m out of bed. 5:30 AM hits, and before I’ve even reached the bathroom, I’ve already triaged three minor tasks in my head . The walk to the toilet is on autopilot because the mental processor is already overclocked.

​Downstairs, it’s a symphony of optimization. Mushroom coffee is brewing, but I’m already necking salt water and my morning stack of supplements & heart, astma, trt Meds . One hand is petting Luna, my Sphynx; the other is dodging Sarka climbing my legs. I’m checking the bird food through the window while filling a thermos with coffee for later.

​Then the desk , the SAD light goes on. 30 minutes. Cbd. This is the war room. WhatsApp, emails, social catch-up, calendar audit. Is the Garmin charged? Are the bike lights ready? Did I look at and double checked every single PT session for today? I’m coping with the "now" while archiving the "later." I hear Marlena in the kitchen now - grounding , and my mind flickers to the kids, will they have a good day?I fire off a "love you" text. It’s the last moment of stillness before I hit the pedals.

​The Transition

​I’m on the bike, cycling hard, voice-messaging every thought that I can’t afford to lose until I hit the main road. The mental loop starts: Shop on the break? Date with the kids? Docs today or tomorrow? Charge the garmin, charge front light. Don't forget. Don't forget. Wait, what was that? If it’s not noted, it’s not remembered..

The Eye of the Storm: The Class

This is where the racing thoughts become a flood. I’m at the gym, Top up water. Electrolytes. Grab coffee for later. Smiling , setting the board, doing the attendance - both on paper and in phone's spreadsheet , but my internal monologue is a frantic 12-channel mixer:

​Okay, class is set. Adjust the timer. Explain the move. Instruct. Look at them smashing it, proud of my kids. Look at them.. Wait, I need to slow that one down, he’s redlining. She needs an adaptation for that shoulder. Is it time for this one to step up or do they need two more weeks of base? I think need to plant a race seed in this one's head today. How’s that injury? Is his head in the right spot? Check the chest strap position, looks like it’s slipping. Can that ankle pain be the trainers or the mechanics? Will she be ready for Saturday? How do I make the next 16-week block better based on what I’m seeing right now? Need more numbers to keep Carl happy, but I can't sacrifice the quality. I promised them results and need deliver.. Its my reputation . Need to move the floor plan for the new treadmills. Where are the sandbags? We need new carpet. Sleds. KBs. Oh, random members walking in, need to tell them the class has 20 mins left. The music is wrong, change it. Windows are steaming, fans on, aircon on. Where’s the blue roll? I brought two last night! Found it. Tablet is at 4%. Please last. Charge it. That reminds me, timers for Hyrox Engine 81-90.. . 3 on the waiting list tonight... weather is shit, but I can probably squeeze 12 in. Some basterds put plates away on wrong rack, this need to be fixed 😂and they messed up Kettlebells too! Let's sort out.

There's so much that could have been smoother, better, easier.. Could have been harder too I guess

Just found out, school is shut. Text Maja. That reminds me - did Maks apply for apprenticeship?..

​The "Coach to Coach" Nudge

​It’s not just about the athletes; it’s about the industry. I’ve got a 15-minute gap at Nero, but I’m not resting. I’m updating the TikTok shop and noting the CBD products. Remember to prep cbd gear for Kieran at HybridNW for Saturday—looking at how we can help and get involved.

​I fired a message over to Jeremy from Storm. It’s a coach-to-coach thing. I told him they should change the WhatsApp group name from "Clients" to "Members." My people aren't clients. They’re the One Step Closer family. We are the Fitness Gangstas. I like the way the new HQ handle looks on IG btw . Details matter.

​The Mid-Day Grind & The "Body" Check

​The PT sessions roll through—race prep, lower body strength, post-illness recovery. Carl and I briefly catch up on the new posters. The messages never stop. WhatsApp - some very unnecessary - they answer themselves (before I even got time to do so) or look into groups where they can find most things. Emails , and then the GP text: Blood tests needed, something’s off from friday's test . I book it. Next week is a gauntlet: TRT bloods and a respiratory appointment at the hospital. I ask my AI friend if a sauna is safe with this bronchitis/infection cocktail. 10 minutes is safe. I’m in the sauna, menthol in the air, but I’m still on the phone writing this, ticking tasks. Shower, shaving, chatting with the boys in the changing room while my mind is already wandering outside this room .

​What’s next? Shop, Protein meals. Yogurts. Back on bike - Shit, forgot to charge the Garmin again didn't I .... 😁

Home. Back to Admin. Online Coaching notification coming in. Good, they smashing too! . Called Kieran cos few still missing the race emails so trying to help.. I'm also trying to help my guy stay positive so managed to send positive pep talk too. Not much but Hope it helped

​The Home Office Chaos

​I’m home. Apple cinnamon porridge at 1 PM. The school is shut because of the snow, so Maja's home as we know, super quick catch up with Maks before he's gone to work . Longer one with Maja, we were chatting random stuff that took us to solar panels subject which reminded me the feed in tariffs reading was due month ago. Sorted now! Sent.

The cat just dug the soil out of the plant. Ffs

Sarka loves her yesterday's bday present BTW.

​I’m opening the important letters & parcels—150ml water bladders for race testing - can't wait to share results with team (like Chinese trainers) .

Another coffee and ding-dong - courier at the door, The team kit order arrives (perfect timing, but more work, damn ).

I’m prepping peptides for the next three days. I take my own ECG and blood pressure. It’s okay. Not great, but good enough. There’s hope for Saturday.

I’m announcing kit in the group chat, messaging Ali about small issues, and updating the calendar for Sunday - sort out whole order, group it, label, note, put more on tiktok - photos, sizing. . The emails keep coming. The WhatsApps keep coming. Meanwhile I'm checking blood tests results in app - shit! That's why needs repeating. White cells so low, neutrophil so low, red below reference, mvc above the top, platelet below, haemoglobin on low end.. Well, doesn't look good anymore 😂

I'm only sorting the kit I need for next 2 days - messaging those waiting. Sorting out big box to take stuff with me.

Notifications coming, I see some mentions & tags on IG. Need to check it later..

​The Shutdown

​Back on the bike at 3 PM. Quick shop, spent another £100 on supplements, booked table for Fridays fish and chips with kids on me break. Checked flights to Thailand. Couple messages to mates. Damn, didn't speak with mum for a week..

Two more PT sessions, one person is 1 stone down over last 2 blocks (huge win), the other is a young lad smashing weights today ( cardio yesterday & padwork Thursday) . Another class at 6 Pm, the same racing thoughts, the same internal adjustments for the weather and the energy. Another no show too, annoying especially I've increased numbers.. And another chat with member who disrespectfully jumped on the bike that's beeing used for class, all it takes is read the info or ask, sometimes I can accommodate..

Oh there's gaps between mats by rowers..

Another online Coaching report coming through. Nice. Will check later. New poster came off, attaching now and replacing Rower battery..

​Then, the HBOT oxygen session. 30 minutes of admin and replies, chat but for the final 30 minutes, I force the world out. Binaural beats. Meditation. Trying to relax. Forget.. More notes - dogs insurance, send equipment back to virgin, caughing shit out.. Another little chat on WhatsApp .. remembered my uncle passing away from cancer couple months ago. That reminded me about other uncle I lost to cancer couple years ago and auntie when I was little.. And it always brings my dear Bubble yo mind too. Poor little dog

​Bike home. Food. Half an episode of something I probably won't remember. I disconnect the phone from the watch, the digital umbilical cord is cut. Meds, supplements, peptides. Prepping the morning drinks. A quick catch-up with the wife and kids. Chinese cupping, double cbd, just short text to mum with love you..

Those days.. No time for drama, toxicity, bullshit, social media, worrying about opinions or other shit they might or might not think. Barely time for life.

Shame I'm poorly and only managed the 5k or more a day bike ride at 100bpm . Would love a run along canals in this weather..

​10:00 PM. I’m upstairs with a book and binaural beats, drifting back into my dreams. I’m grateful there were no major fuck-ups. It was a smooth one.

​I 'worked 17h but got paid for physical 8h (6 pts & 2 classes) the behind the scene grind is not included, do your maths.. If I didn’t love it, I wouldn’t do it. Changes are good but it's not time yet. Just wish I was healthy. For now, I’m done with this world.

​Bring on Wednesday.

This isn't an odd day, just a standard one. They all like that, for maaany years, just tasks changing, storms coming going, to do lists changing, jobs are longer or shorter but race remains at the same pace

Food for thoughts

Peace, love & also fuck this shit 😘